New Definitions

Compassionate Conservative = A person who conserves all compassion for corporations and wealthy white people



Good side- Fat Bastard, the Ex-Exxon Mobile Chairman, will soon explode.
Down side- real Americans lives are going down the crapper as well as the environment

Traditional Values = to continue oppression of poor and minority Americans, while promoting the well being of wealthy Americans and corporations



Good Side- there is nothing funny about holding these values
Bad Side- people think this has something to do with Jesus and the family when a politician says they hold these values

Free Trade = to provide cheap labor for corporate America while sending middle class jobs overseas.



Good Side- you will be able to buy 5 wife beaters at Walmart for $3.
Bad Side- continuation of the erosion of middle America

Destiny's Stupid Child

We all know what their refrain sounds like to Survivor.






This is what these guys refrain would sound like to Decider. Can't you just see Cheney and Rummy in the background going What? What?


I’m the decider (What?)
I’m gonna make sure (What?)
That all my friends (What?)
Still get a tax break (What?)
I’m the decider (What?)
I’m gonna make up (What?)
Any intelligence (What?)
That I need to (What?)

I’m the decider (What?)
I’m gonna nuke em (What?)
It doesn’t matter (What?)
What you think (What?)
I’m the decider (What?)
I can’t believe that (What?)
You elected me (What?)
For a 2nd term (What?)

Back on point!

I’M THE DECIDER!

6 Generals call for Rumsfeld to be fired-

Bush- “I’m the DECIDER. I say Don Rumsfeld staying is best for me.”

Listening to Generals-
Bush---Troop levels and military strategery will not be decided by politicians in Washington. We listen to our commanders on the ground.

Rumsfeld and Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz criticized the Army's chief of staff, Gen. Eric Shinseki, after Shinseki told Congress in February that the occupation could require "several hundred thousand troops." Wolfowitz called Shinseki's estimate "wildly off the mark."---USA TODAY

Bush after hearing the General’s remarks—“I’m the Decider. You’re fired Shinseki. I feel like the Donald. He, He, He.”

Leak investigation-
Bush- We need to stop all the leaks. This leaking is jeopardizing our security, not to mention my poll numbers.

-If the leaker is someone in my administration they will no longer work at the White House.

After hearing that Scooter squealed on the Vice-President and that the Vice-President implicated that the leak was authorized by the President.

Bush-“I’m the DECIDER! Criticism of this White House and me will not be tolerated. If I want to declassify documents and not tell anyone but Dick (He, He, He, Dick) I’ll do it. I do not answer to the CIA or any covert operatives. I’m the DECIDER and that’s final.


Oil companies record profits-
Democrats on Capital Hill-
“Mr. President with the state of the union being in debt up to our eye balls to China, and the oil companies record multi-billion dollar profits why don’t we rescind the billion dollar tax breaks to the oil companies.”

Bush- “I’m the DECIDER! They need that money and I made promises. You know where I stand and it is with my corporate allies.”

9/11-
Andy Card-“Mr. President, America is under attack. What are you going to do?”

Bush’s thoughts-(You have to read this slow like Bush would think. It needs to take about 7 minutes.)

“This is a little too important for me to be the decider. Ummm, well, ummmm, where’s Dick? (He, He, He Dick) Ummm. I guess I’ll be the decider. I think I will finish reading about the pet goat. Maybe it will be over by then. It was a blue state that was attacked and that was what God told me was going to happen. After all that’s what they get for not voting for me. This goat story is riveting. It’s a real page turner. I can’t believe I am going to finish reading a book. I have not finished a book in years without Laura’s help. She will be so proud of me. I wonder if after I tell her she will be willing to give me a little nookie. He, he, he, I said nookie. Nookie is a funny word. Lookie, lookie, W. is going to get some nookie. That’s pretty funny.
What was I thinking about?

Think George.

Why is Andy pacing around so much? I think he would like this goat. He devours all the resources and won’t let anyone else have any. That is my kind of goat. I wonder if Karl can work this goat into our next campaign. Maybe we can replace that dumb elephant with the goat. Maybe a death match between an elephant and a goat. That would be quite a kerfuffle. I wonder if I used that word right. I like the word a day calendar that Scotty gave me, but even after reading the definitions it is still hard to understand the words. I will have to ask a speech writer to put it in a speech for me someday. Why is Andy coming this way to interrupt my story again? What could possibly be so important that they need me? So much for finishing the book and my nookie….”

Off the normal rant

You ever watch a movie so many times that you think you know all the lines, but every time you see the movie you catch a new line that makes you laugh?

Well here's the line. Name the movie.

"Fuck You"

"You're the shepherd, Bo Peep."

I have this movie, but I find that anytime I run across it during my manly hunting for quality programming (or naked chicks) I do not have the will power to continue searching. I must stop and watch the rest of the movie no matter what part I come into because I think the movie is so good. It drives my wife insane, but too bad for her she said for better or worse.

Hears an idea W!!

Nepal King Orders Protesters Shot on Sight
By BINAJ GURUBACHARYA, Associated Press Writer
"We were protesting and some of us were throwing stones at the soldiers. Suddenly, the soldiers fired shots at us. One of my friends was killed instantly," Baral said.

---I guess this means you should not brings rocks to a gun fight.

Gyanendra (Nepal King) dismissed the prime minister in February last year, saying he needed full powers to check the communist insurgency, which has killed some 13,000 people since 1996.


--sound familiar—Bush signs an anti-torture bill then writes an addendum on the bill saying it does not apply to him. I sometimes wonder why we have a legislative branch these days since King George gets to break the law anytime he wants. George should just lock the doors of Congress while they are on recess and never let them back in. Look at all the money we would save. Have we ever had a lockout off Congress? Congress allegedly authorized this President to do anything necessary to fight terrorism and defend the American people, so it is not farfetched that he has the authority to lock out Congress and lead this great nation with an iron fist in these end-times. After all Congress just may try to stop him from bringing about the end of America as we know it.

What will W do????

Will he agree with Libby’s testimony, which would mean all the money spent on the investigation was a waste of taxpayer dollars and that he is again a liar?

Will he call Libby a liar and say that he is just trying to save his hide and accuse him of a criminal act of outing a CIA operative?

Will he cut Cheney loose and admit that Cheney overstepped his authority in asking Libby to out Valerie Plame?

Will he do nothing and continue to act as if he is above the law because we are in a “War on Terra?”


Remember these:

President Bush's chief spokesman said yesterday that the allegation that administration officials leaked the name of a CIA operative is "a very serious matter" and vowed that Bush would fire anybody responsible for such actions. –Washington Post

"There's been nothing, absolutely nothing, brought to our attention to suggest any White House involvement, and that includes the vice president's office, as well," said Scott McClellan, Bush's press secretary. He said that "if anyone in this administration was involved in it, they would no longer be in this administration."

“I don’t know if we’re going to find out the senior administration official. I don’t have any idea.” --President George W. Bush, 10/07/03 (and the thought bubble above his head was “and Lord I hope not.”)

Gas on the fire

Scientist: Jesus May Have Walked on Ice
By BILL KACZOR, Associated Press Writer

Stories like this are just going to add fuel to the already self kindled fire of the religious rights "Attack on Christianity."

This so-called attack is nothing but a bunch of white men wanting to be thought of as being discriminated against. About eighty percent of Americans consider themselves Christians, so who is attacking them? I would say a HUGE majority of lawmakers call themselves Christians, and the man in the White House thinks he is the chosen one. The Supreme Court is 80% Christian. Who is attacking you and what power do they actually have?

I hate it when people yell discrimination when a situation arises that did not go the way they wanted.

She smacked the cracker because he did not recognize her, and now racism is to blame.

Warning-This may not be politically correct

$ 2.80 a Gallon

What do I think?

Investor me: Buy oil stocks-the dividends alone will make it worthwhile.

Conspiracy theorist me: Bush called his oil friends and said “Fuck the American people. They don’t like Bushie anymore. Go ahead and take them for all you can for the next 3 years. He, He, He.”


Political me:

Local economies- another huge blow to local family owned businesses- with American’s having less and less disposable income the small businesses feel the pain more than anyone.

State economies- Many states are flourishing and have huge surpluses from the asinine, and archaic tax code which allows states to raise the tax as the price of a gallon of gas goes up. Many states felt it necessary to have a floating tax on gasoline because they thought that as the price went up consumption would go down and therefore they wanted a steady stream of income, but as we all know Americans are not buying less gas just paying more taxes. I don’t think consumption will go down until the price gets to $3.50-4.00 a gallon.

Federal- I see huge campaign contributions for the Republicans to “swift boat” any and all democrats.


Environmental me: Higher prices are the only thing that will lower our usage and slow global warming. $5.00 a gallon would be nice.



Consumer me: “Damn that’s a lot of money to fill up this vehicle. How much does a Prius cost again?”


Grandparent me: “I remember when gas was a nickel a gallon.” (OK. I’m not a grandparent and do not remember gas at 5 cent a gallon, but I did have to walk to and from school in blizzards, uphill both ways.)



Inventor me: I’m too stupid to invent anything to help. Hmmmm. With the immigration problems we are having how about a Hispanic powered car??? You might think it would be easier for them to pull us fat Americans in a rickshaw but we need the security of our SUVs.


Defense me: similar to environmental me- The only way to wean ourselves from the Arabian tit is if it cost too much to suck on. If we don’t have to nurse on the nipple then we don’t have to guard it either.

Me me: Americans will continue to bitch about the high price of gasoline but come election time they will be distracted and do nothing about it. We will just keep getting screwed by corporations and politicians and we will keep screwing the environment. The real cost of this will be passed onto our children in the form of un-payable debt and an environmental catastrophe that is beyond fixing. America is headed for a fall without honest, reality based leadership. (Sorry to end on such a sour note.)

What do you think?

Psalm 29.5

Bush's vision for the world!!!




This was an email sent to me.


Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war,
I will find no exit, for thou art in office.
Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy media control,
They discomfort me.
Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the presence of thy religion.
Thou anointest my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runneth out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days of they term,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.

Thank You Ethel