Texas Two-Step

Act 2

Rove -- Come on George we are going to the rally outside.
George -- What? I thought we decided not to meet with this woman.
Rove -- You idiot. You really should read a paper ever now and then. Sheehan left to take care of her sick Mom. Now we can say we tried to meet with her, but she was not here.
George -- And do the whole speech again about how I think about the fallen soldiers everyday. I’m ready.
Rove -- Do you think you can handle this without a full prep run through?
George -- Yeah, he he he. I remember all the answer from before.
Rove -- These are not going to be our handpicked reporters asking the questions we gave to them. Are you sure?
George -- Time is in the presence, Karl. Let’s go.
Rove -- You mean time is of the essence.
George -- Really, OK.

The President and his motorcade come down the dusty road toward the camp. The motorcade stops and secret service makes a quick sweep of the area. George Bush strides up to the podium. He is wearing a ten gallon hat, white button down shirt with short sleeves and silver buttons, a pair of dusty wranglers that are a little to tight and pointy cowboy boots with spurs. As he slowly does his best impression of John Wayne’s walk up to the podium the media gathers around.

George -- Hello this evening, I have come to meet with the Mom for the second time.

A man runs to the podium and whispers something into the president’s ear.

George -- Is Cindy Sheehan (he gives the man beside him a wink) ready for her second meeting with me? I am ready to once again to grieve with her and give her my deepest sympathies. I am ready to answer any question she might have.
Reporter -- Mr. President, are you going to tell us that you did not know Cindy went to take care of her ailing mother this morning?
George -- Really, he he. I have not seen any news all day. I have been fishing, napping, and practicing my bull riding all day. This is actually the first break I have had to come out here in the past two weeks. I just heard about this woman errr Cindy yesterday and told my people to schedule a meeting today. Oh well, I am a busy man and sorry she missed her chance.
Reporter -- Her main question was what is this noble cause you keep talking about?
George -- Let me just say first that I think about these brave men and women everyday. I grieve like a father every time I hear about the murder of one of our brave men and women by one of them there extremist. The noble cause is freedom. Freedom from the oppressive lifestyle forced upon these brave Iraqi’s by Saddam Hussein.
Reporter -- That was not the reason you gave the American people for going there in the first place. Why was no one held accountable for the false intelligence?
George -- Uhhh, Ummm, well. We thought they had weapons. We are there now and we can not cut and run. The terrorist will have won. Ummm, freedom is on the march in Iraq. Uhhh, America is safer with our troops there.
Reporter -- That is not the answer to the question?
George -- Well, you want answers.
Reporter -- America deserves the answer.
George -- You want answers
Reporter -- We want the truth.
George -- You can’t handle the truth. You see I am the President of the United Sates of America, but my first love is Texas tea, black gold. I am an OIL MAN! Saddam, the man who tried to kill my Daddy, has oil and I wanted it. Now our troops will be there until I can put a puppet government in place to sell me oil at a cheap price. Then I will make it into gasoline and sell it to the American people at a huge profit. That is the way things work. American’s can understand that America runs on corporation making huge profits. That is all we are doing, giving corporations that support Republicans a chance to make huge profits.

Rove -- THAT’S THE END OF THE MEETING!! I’m sorry Cindy is not here. The President has not been feeling well and we will talk to you when we get back to Washington. It is obvious that the President has been put under a tremendous strain by this mother camping out here singing Cum-by-ya all night long. This liberal, left wing, anti-American women is bringing down the troops moral. All of you unpatriotic Americans, who think we should cut and run, just look at the strain this war has put on our President. He is delirious. We will be back in Washington after the President breaks the Presidential record for consecutive days off.

To be continued…
PS- a few lines have been borrowed from one of my favorite movies. I'll let you decide who the good men are.

George and the Gold Star Mom.

Act 1

Rove enters barn on Bush ranch

Rove- George, please get down off the mechanical bull we have to find a way to diffuse this situation outside the ranch and shut up this whiny, liberal mom.
George- Hi Karl, you want to try this bull. I have been practicing for 2 days now. I think that I could be a real cowboy. I know that I look like one, but if I keep practicing I think that I could win one of those big belt buckles.
Rove- Get down!! We have work to do.
George- Oh Karl, why are you always such a party pooper. I should have fired you like I said I would, and then I could really be enjoying my vacation.
Rove- George if you do not get off the bull and listen to what I am about to tell you I am going to call Dick.
George- OK! OK! No need to bring him here. I hate it when he is around. He is so mean to me. What do you want me to do?
Rove- Well since we have already tried discrediting her and the damn liberal media is just not buying it I guess we are going to have to meet with her. Do you still have the suit we used during the second debate so I can tell you what to say?
George- No, Mr. Gannon and I were playing with it at the White House and we broke it. Sorry. Who is this woman anyway and why do I have to meet her?
Rove- Her name is Cindy Sheehan. Her son was killed in Iraq, and now she is camped outside the ranch and wants a face to face meeting so you can explain why her son had to die and what this noble cause you keep talking about is.
George- Well that’s easy enough. We need to protect our oil interest in the Middle East, and of course we had to get Saddam since he tried to kill my Daddy.
Rove- NO George. We are fighting the extremist there so we do not have to fight them here. How many times do I have to tell you that? Freedom is on the march. A free Iraq makes America safer. If we pull out now then the extremist will have won. We will pull out when the noble mission is complete, and not one day sooner.
George- Oh yeah, I remember. That is what’s on that tape you make for me to listen to while I sleep. I do have one question Karl. What is the noble mission, and how will we know when it is completed?
Karl- I have told you a thousand times. We do not really plan on ever pulling out of Iraq. The Democrats will one day win the White House and when they get us out of Iraq we will accuse them of cutting and running and being weak on terrorism. In the meantime we will continue to funnel money to our corporations and in turn they will funnel money back into our campaigns. It is genius. With all the money we are pilfering from the American tax payer we may never lose the House or the Senate.
George- I’m sorry, you lost me when you said the Democrats will some day win the White House.
Karl- Why do I even try and explain anything to you? You just listen to me and do what I tell you. Do not stray from the script, we all know what happens when you do that Mr. Strategery.
George- Ok, I’ll try.

To be continued

Gold Star Mom

Hurray for Cindy Sheehan, she has accomplished what no American patriot has been able to do so far. She has put this absurd war front and center.

We have struggled through Schiavo, the Alabama teen, the filibuster/ nuclear fiasco, 60 days of promoting an idiotic Wall Street Welfare Scheme,the runaway bride and now this grieving mother has finally put the focus back on the war where it belongs. Last time he took 5 weeks off over 3,000 Americans died. I guess he feels he is doing much better this time since only about 38 military personnel have died so far. Of course if we counted the innocent Iraqi’s I’m sure the number would be well over 3,000 again by the time the vacation is over.

I’m really tired of hearing the argument that George is obviously doing the right thing since we have not had another terrorist attack. Do the Republicans really believe that the terrorist have any sort of time table? We will be hit again on US soil, meanwhile our military is being used as a big target daily in Iraq.

I say congratulations to Cindy Sheehan for putting the most pressing issue back front and center. I hope that when you get to talk to W. that after he gives his idiotic reasons for your son’s death that you just slap him. Then go looking for Rummy, Condi, Dickie, Wolfy, and any other idiot that wanted this war and slap them.



Interesting fact—Since our military can not meet its recruitment goals we are now offering US citizenship to illegal immigrants if they go fight Bush’s war. Now that’s a sound immigration policy. Just round up all the illegals and send them to Iraq. Maybe we should go put up our Uncle Sam wants you posters at all the borders. If we just ship the next 1,000 immigrants trying to sneak across the border to Iraq, they will stop coming.
(Just for clarifications sake, I do not have an opinion either way regarding illegals)

I have added a graph comparing Deaths in Vietnam VS Iraq. Just something to ponder.