Texas Two-Step

Act 2

Rove -- Come on George we are going to the rally outside.
George -- What? I thought we decided not to meet with this woman.
Rove -- You idiot. You really should read a paper ever now and then. Sheehan left to take care of her sick Mom. Now we can say we tried to meet with her, but she was not here.
George -- And do the whole speech again about how I think about the fallen soldiers everyday. I’m ready.
Rove -- Do you think you can handle this without a full prep run through?
George -- Yeah, he he he. I remember all the answer from before.
Rove -- These are not going to be our handpicked reporters asking the questions we gave to them. Are you sure?
George -- Time is in the presence, Karl. Let’s go.
Rove -- You mean time is of the essence.
George -- Really, OK.

The President and his motorcade come down the dusty road toward the camp. The motorcade stops and secret service makes a quick sweep of the area. George Bush strides up to the podium. He is wearing a ten gallon hat, white button down shirt with short sleeves and silver buttons, a pair of dusty wranglers that are a little to tight and pointy cowboy boots with spurs. As he slowly does his best impression of John Wayne’s walk up to the podium the media gathers around.

George -- Hello this evening, I have come to meet with the Mom for the second time.

A man runs to the podium and whispers something into the president’s ear.

George -- Is Cindy Sheehan (he gives the man beside him a wink) ready for her second meeting with me? I am ready to once again to grieve with her and give her my deepest sympathies. I am ready to answer any question she might have.
Reporter -- Mr. President, are you going to tell us that you did not know Cindy went to take care of her ailing mother this morning?
George -- Really, he he. I have not seen any news all day. I have been fishing, napping, and practicing my bull riding all day. This is actually the first break I have had to come out here in the past two weeks. I just heard about this woman errr Cindy yesterday and told my people to schedule a meeting today. Oh well, I am a busy man and sorry she missed her chance.
Reporter -- Her main question was what is this noble cause you keep talking about?
George -- Let me just say first that I think about these brave men and women everyday. I grieve like a father every time I hear about the murder of one of our brave men and women by one of them there extremist. The noble cause is freedom. Freedom from the oppressive lifestyle forced upon these brave Iraqi’s by Saddam Hussein.
Reporter -- That was not the reason you gave the American people for going there in the first place. Why was no one held accountable for the false intelligence?
George -- Uhhh, Ummm, well. We thought they had weapons. We are there now and we can not cut and run. The terrorist will have won. Ummm, freedom is on the march in Iraq. Uhhh, America is safer with our troops there.
Reporter -- That is not the answer to the question?
George -- Well, you want answers.
Reporter -- America deserves the answer.
George -- You want answers
Reporter -- We want the truth.
George -- You can’t handle the truth. You see I am the President of the United Sates of America, but my first love is Texas tea, black gold. I am an OIL MAN! Saddam, the man who tried to kill my Daddy, has oil and I wanted it. Now our troops will be there until I can put a puppet government in place to sell me oil at a cheap price. Then I will make it into gasoline and sell it to the American people at a huge profit. That is the way things work. American’s can understand that America runs on corporation making huge profits. That is all we are doing, giving corporations that support Republicans a chance to make huge profits.

Rove -- THAT’S THE END OF THE MEETING!! I’m sorry Cindy is not here. The President has not been feeling well and we will talk to you when we get back to Washington. It is obvious that the President has been put under a tremendous strain by this mother camping out here singing Cum-by-ya all night long. This liberal, left wing, anti-American women is bringing down the troops moral. All of you unpatriotic Americans, who think we should cut and run, just look at the strain this war has put on our President. He is delirious. We will be back in Washington after the President breaks the Presidential record for consecutive days off.

To be continued…
PS- a few lines have been borrowed from one of my favorite movies. I'll let you decide who the good men are.