State of the Union

God- He is still on our side but we may have to ask him again to bless us.

Hope- I hope my base is not watching this or that Karl has already told them that the stuff I am about to say is nothing but more of the same empty rhetoric.

Strong economy = No tax increases - How will my big business allies be able to funnel huge chunks of money into 527's to swift boat any and all contenders from the Democratic Party for 2008 if we ask them to pay their fair share of taxes.

Troops- They are the best in the world but for some reason are having trouble accomplishing this very well defined mission I have sent them on. So I am replacing the dumb ass generals I have listened to for the first 4 years of this war. We got fresh eyes now, so things have to get better. I would hope you will just close yours for the next 2 years while I send more troops into the Iraq civil war.

Cafe standards- I propose we decrease oil consumption by 20% OVER THE NEXT 10 YEARS. Okay, so I will only be here for the next 2 years and do not plan on doing anything substantial, but I am laying down the gauntlet for the next president and will have this tied to tax breaks for Detroit automakers who are having trouble running a profitable business in the most consumer driven economy of all time.

Immigration- I think I can work with the Democrats on this issue. I will provide a path to citizenship for the illegals here now(Democratic idea), if businesses are allowed to use the slave labor for 3 to 5 years(Republican idea).

bipartisanship- I will work with the Democrats the same way I worked with the Republican leadership. I will send over an idea and if they rubber stamp it then I will call it bipartinsan otherwise they are obstuctionist.

Hillary- "Bitch" and she hired an intern to give her husband a blow job-talk about outsourcing.
Barack- Sounds like Iraq and we all know that was a bad idea.
Edwards- didn't we already kick his ass once--"ambulance chaser"
Gore-Ditto "tree hugger"
Richardson-"wetback"
Biden-"energizer bunny" he keeps running and running and running- get a clue loser.

Do the democrats have any real contenders??

Why does this woman behind me keep looking at my ass? You like that don't you Pelosi. That is the kind of ass you get from clearing brush and mountain biking for 6 weeks every summer. I'm all about hard work.

America is a great nation in spite of what I have done over the last 6 years. So let us surge ahead into the next 2 with hope, and bipartisanship for a brighter tomorrow based on the Iraqi oil I was willing to go get for my boys.

Chevron Rules!!!
I'm out