The real deal!

This is who Bush reminds me of and is probably what he acted like when he drank.



I know everyone has been waiting with great anticipation for my take on "The Surge" and here it is. I could not comment right away because I had to consult with people from all sides. I had to gather as much information as I could and get as many perspectives as I could before surging forward with my opinion. I wanted to make sure that my answers seemed credible and well thought out.

First of all we can not talk about how we got to this point, that just is not relevant. Secondly, we may want to make sure and use a small portion of the rights points just to show that I was actually listening when they were talking. And finally the answer will be long winded and attack the people who disagree before they even disagree.

Senator Kyle from Arizona on Meet the Press said he does not know how people could attack the plan before it was announced.
---Hey dumbass, everyone reported the plan before Bush actually said it. Everyone knows that this President never changes his mind no matter what is happening in reality. I go back to Stephen Colbert's roast of the President at the press dinner. "This President believes the same thing on Wednesday as he did on Monday, no matter what happens on Tuesday."

Stephen Hadley on Meet The Press basically said that the Iraq government asked for more troops so we are sending them. What's wrong with that they are only Americans.
--It is no longer I will give the Generals what they want but Maliki and Sadr what they want. I will sacrifice as many American boys and girls just to pass the buck and also to maybe get ready to re-deploy the troops to Iran or Syria if needed.

John McCain- the surge has to be significant and sustained.
--This guy has just lost it. He will say anything to court the Bush loyalist. All 28% of them left.

Joe Lieberman- He is not worth quoting or ridiculing just look at whatever Bush actually says and you will hear Lieberman say it a day later. Have these two ever been in the Oval office alone? If so I think we may have a valid reason for impeaching Bush.

Anybody repeating the talking points said you can not criticize this plan if you do not have a plan that does not lead to more violence, death, and eventually a mushroom cloud on American soil.

--Maybe since we removed the only thing holding this so called country together we have to let them go through their Civil War and realize that only through peace can they all live together and prosper. Maybe the Sunnis are allowing the foreign fighters because that is the only thing that gives them a fair chance against the Americans and the Shia. Maybe like Senator Hagel said we should put our efforts into controlling the borders and let the Iraqis control the rest of the country.

Bush- They have come up with a plan to share the oil revenue.
--- Yeah right yours and Blair's plan to share 70% of the revenue with American and British companies and the Iraqis get 30%.

People do not believe that this was anything but a chance to get our hands on the Iraqi oil and control it. China has their hands in Africa which is why we can not do anything significant about Darfur. We don't want to make our banker angry or he may cut us off. This war has created tremendous wealth again in Saudi Arabia with the price per barrel skyrocketing, allowing Bush's friends to be able to buy their way out of trouble with their people. The only question you have to ask yourself. If Iraq had no oil, would we be there? The answer has nothing to do with planting democracy in the Middle East or removing an evil dictator. If we are so apt to want to spread democracy and liberate an oppressed people then maybe we should invade China.

We continue to try and assert our dominance militarily and force our lifestyle on a group of people that not only do not want it as a whole, but are not ready for it if they want to keep their women in beekeeper suits. Democracy has to be an organic movement. It can not be forced.

So needless to say, I am against the surge. I am for securing Iraqi borders. Launching missiles from the outskirts of the country into where ever we think Al Qaida may be. Sending many of the troops back into Afghanistan and Pakistan to actually break the back of the Al Qaida network. Diplomacy with Iran, Syria, and creating a real Palestinian state. I will stop the likes of Merck, Eli Lilly, Phizer, Glaxo-Smith-Kline, Caremark, AdvancePCS, Express Scripts, Wal-Mart, Bank One, Citibank, GE, Ford, GM, American Express, Exxon/Mobile, Chevron, BP, the coal industry and any other big lobbyist from meddling in real American affairs. All my critics out there, I respected and listened to your opinions, but I can not let our troops be in the middle of a civil war. If you have a plan to secure Iraq and get our troops out of the middle of the civil war then let's hear it. Otherwise your plan is not valid and you should just shut up and support my plan.

See how I used my speech to set up the next war. Here we come Iran, ready or not.